Liquid Drugs

It's hard not to compare the commodities of one's country of origin to the stuffs of one's new surrounding. I see a backlit license plate and I think "fuck America doesn't have that." (Cultural note: in Japan, America = the United States. Sorry Paraguay. You just don't count as America.) I see some drunk girls stumbling in their stilettos and I think "yep, we have that." And so on and so forth. It's a rather boring dialogue to have with oneself, because duh there are commonalities and differences between these two countries. But let's talk about drugs.

Most noteworthy are the drugs that I took completely for granted in San Francisco, that have mysteriously left my life in Kyoto. For instance, good coffee. Even decent coffee. Im-freaking-possible to find. I went to the supermarket today to sample some coffee. There's a real fancy looking beanery right next to the McDonalds in there, and though I knew it would cost me $4.50, I shelled it out for a "large" coffee.
There it is. There's my large coffee. But it was OK, I didn't want any more of it than I had.

I decided to try the Micky D's coffee, as I saw they were making a fresh pot. It was a mere $1.80, and was nearly double the amount that Ogawa Coffee gave me. Unfortunately, it was nearly intolerable. But it was better than the coffee at Mister Donut, which cost me about $3.50.

Japan isn't good at coffee. Given, I'm TOTALLY spoiled. But the best coffee I've had since being here was an americano at Starbucks. And it was almost $5. Mom, if you're reading this, please send me some whole bean Peet's. I'm gonna e-mail you.

While Japan fails in making coffee, it excels in providing cheap and readily available alcohol. It's surprising, this country seems like it would love uppers. Oh wait, that's what the huuuuuuuuge selection of energy shots at every convenience store is for. I've seen a couple of people down these and it looks like a painful experience. Anyway, I tried a few drinks that blew my mind. Screw Driver by Cocktail Hour. In a can. I'm glad they don't have these in vending machines (beer only) or else I'd be in trouble. It was more like orange soda and vodka, but delicious nonetheless. It was like $1.25. I got lost after I drank it, literally. And then there was the can of Sparkz (yep) last night that tasted like Royal Gate and seltzer water with a hint of lemon. After slamming it down I walked, completely dazed, around the mammoth empty subway station. All I could think about was that Cannibal Corpse song Hammer Smashed Face. And I didn't even get the tall can. Imagine what's gonna happen when Four Loko hits Japan. That is going to be funny. While the stumbling girls were more cute than anything, it did strike me that it was only 10PM. They had me worried for a sec as they got real near to the edge right in front of me. (Let me take a minute to talk about internal dialogue: when one doesn't know the language and one has a borderline narcissistic ego, it is really hard to imagine that you are NOT the topic of conversation. In this instance, it was pretty frustrating to lack the capability of speaking Japanese.) Anyway I laughed at their antics, and they laughed seeing that I was laughing, and I could tell that if they were talking about me, it wasn't because I was ugly. That's all that matters anyway. Pretty win-win. My worry wasn't justified.

Upon reflection, maybe everything is as it should be. California has great coffee, because we can handle it. Japan has tons of booze because I sincerely think they can handle it. Can you imagine what it would be like if you could purchase a 4 liter (plastic) bottle of sake at any convenience store in the U.S.? Can you imagine what would happen if America could get beers from vending machines?

Fucking pandemonium.

No more cities.

And maybe the Japanese can't handle good coffee. Or American large cups of coffee. Maybe they completely freak out and explode or go on killing sprees, or both. Send me some good coffee.